Thursday, June 18, 2015

Yeah, But Does It Work?

Now, I imagine you are probably wondering, "does what work?"

Say what?

Sorry, that sounded funnier in my noggin than it does in my bloggin'.

Okay, as I have mentioned before, I have peripheral neuropathy. I have PN in my feet, sometimes to my knees, and in my hands and arms.

PN can be quite painful. Sometimes it's a burning sensation, and sometimes it's pins n' needles, stabby-like, and sometimes it feels like a cat ripping your feet apart with fangs n' claws.
It can also get the muscles in the affected areas all super-clenched, tight, and charlie horse-like.
For me, the feet are the worst, but over the last year, in my hands n' arms it has progressed in pain.

Needless to say, it ain't no picnic. It also makes it difficult to sleep for long.
I take gabapentin and pain pills amd that does help, but the only drug that has ever completely knocked out the oain is oxycontin, and the VA only allows that if you're on your deathbed (spoiler alert: I didn't die, which is good news, but since I got better, no more oxycontin).

IRT the VA, pain management is not good. That's not my doctor's fault, it's the fault of bureaurats who think they know better than doctors.
The argument these idiots give for not allowing better pain management is that because a few guys abuse the pain meds (and some die as a result), it's too dangerous for everyone else who doesn't abuse them.

I'm willing to bet that more vets commit suicide because they can't get any relief from chronic pain than those who die because of drug abuse.
And it really pisses me off to no end (Big Trouble In Little China reference there...jest because) when bloody politicians and their ilk punish us law abiding folks because of what a few people foolishly do.

Regardless, the idiots who think they know better than doctors can't care less about what our vets are going through. Long as they keep getting their bonuses, even when they lie, cook their books and vets die as a result, there's no reason for them to be concerned.

Plus, whistleblowers under the Obama admin. get punished for telling the truth about these bureaurat scum, so I expect less will be willing to speak up when future abuses happen.
I guarantee obummercare will be far worse, but at least it's free. I mean, more expensive than it ever was.
As Bob has said, this is why we can't have nice things.

Anyways, about a month ago I decided to try deep tissue massage to see if that might help.
Of course, I hafta pay for that myself, because the VA doesn't cover it except sometimes in the case of physical therapy.
But I was gettin' a bit desperate, so fine, I thought, let's try it once and see if it's worth it.

Aye. It is definitely worth it. I felt remarkably better after my first visit, where the therapist worked on my arms, hands, shoulders and neck.
I have gone back every week since, to have the same areas worked on.

I haven't gotten the courage to have my feet worked on, because I can barely wash my feet myself with a severe spike in pain, let alone massage them.
My therapist wants to try working on my hips and upper legs, the idea being it may help my feet and lower legs, since all the nerves are sort of connected, or something like that (I forget exactly how it went),  so I will give that a try.

I have tried other homeopathic stuff, like the pepper skin cream, but none of that helped.
Therapeutic massage does help, and tremendously, I am happy to report.
I also sleep better than I did before, and a bit longer, up to 3-4 hours now, in a row.
Before I started this, it was maybe 2 hours, or an hour here and there, or less.

Thank God I took a chance to try this. It's costly, but when you get to a certain point, then.., well, having more money sure ain't gonna take any pain away.
If you guys know anyone who may be suffering from PN, or any other sucky medical problems, pass it on.
Massage therapy just might help.

Oh, I almost forgot, there are several different types of massages, even one that is tailored for migraines, but a good, licensed MT can explain all that, and there's plenty of info online.
All I know for certain is that deep tissue massage works, and I went in expecting it not to really help much at all, so no placebo effect here.
I sure can't argue with the results. :)

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Ain't Much Left Of Me

This song describes me to a high degree, when there wasn't much left of me.
I was at one of them there crossroads that we encounter only all the time in life.
But this crossroad was one of those rock bottom ones. You know the kind I'm talkin' about, when you are broken, hurting', desperate, depressed, dumbfounded, confounded, and, well, you get the idea.

Anyways, yeah, I've been to the crossroad of life n' death a few times more than I'd like to admit.
Where the only two choices I could think of was dyin' or livin', up or down for good (bad, actually), good or evil, God or gogdamn hell, or the closest thing to it this side of hell.

That terrible place where you can't think straight. All you know for sure is, if God won't save me (again) I'm done for. That's all he wrote, Bub. You don't hafta stick a fork in me, I'm past well done.
Ain't much left of me.


When I turn to God everything gets better. Maybe not my material or physical situation (not right away), but my spirit and mind and heart. A thankful heart. And a peace that surpasses all understanding.
Now, there is more of me. The real me. The me I am destined for. The path is clear as God's grace shines on it.

Of course, there are other crossroads that are at various levels of the vertical, as well as the horizontal, but I tend to remember the worst ones a bit more than the best ones.
So I obviously oughtta be mindful of that and work harder to keep a thankful heart.

Here's a different version of the same song. I like 'em both.
I'm glad I found Blackberry Smoke. They are a very good band if you like southern rock/country rock/country.

Monday, May 25, 2015

More Than A Name On A Wall

To all you warriors who gave your all to defend our lives, liberties and property:
Thank you, and God bless you and your families.
There are some of us out here who will never forget you, and we are eternally grateful that you gave your all for us.

Sunday, May 17, 2015


You guys know I'm a staunch supporter of the Second Ammendment. And I'm certain you agree that defending yourself, your loved ones and even strangers is very important.
The police can't do it, most of the time, and calling 911 is fine, but it takes time for the police to show up.
And in that time, you may find yourself in a situation where you need to protect yourself and others, whether you're at home or out and about.

Now, if at home you have far more options available, depending on the circumstances. Usually, nothin' beats a good shotgun, or perhaps a Winchester for accuracy and firepower.
Or you can use handguns. Personally, I would go for a shotgun or rifle first, but I would have a handgun or two on me as back-up, in case someone (or more) assailants were tryin' to break into the house, or my neighbor's houses.

If someone manages to break in before I'm armed (good luck doin' that because my guard dogs have excellent hearing), I have gats strategically placed throughout the house. Not in plain sight, but I know where they are.
Yes, even if I'm on the throne, so to speak.

I also have ammo in every room, so I can reload, even if I'm pinned down or isolated to one room.

Of course, if you have children, this is more problematic, depending on their age. It has been my experience (my grandparents were right) that teaching your children at a young age about fire arms, what they are, how dangerous they are, and what they are for is very crucial.
I was taught this when I was 5 or 6, taught to always assume guns are loaded and never to touch them or point them at family members or friends, and I even got to handle unloaded guns and rifles. This was drilled into me repeatedly until I was 10, IIRC.
That was when my grandparents taught me to shoot.

Today, I carry most all the time, and I only go to businesses that respect our 2nd Ammendment rights, if I can help it.
I usually carry a .45 long colt, .40 or 9mm, with hollowpoints. Hollowpoints have more stopping power, are more likely to incompacitate bad guys, and are less likely to go through a bad guy and hit someone else.
Needless to say, practice is very important. The more you practice, the more accurate you'll be in case you hafta use
a gun to defend yourself or others.

I've been wanting a back-up, smaller weapon for awhile, and since my birthday is coming up, I thought it would make a nice gift.
Something small enough for an ankle or pocket holster (yet easily concealed), and powerful enough to knock a bad guy down.
And with summer coming, it must be easily concealed with lighter clothing.

Originally, this is what I bought the 9mm for, but it's just a tad too big to easily conceal as a back-up. Plus, I wanted a revolver, because revolvers never jam up, and although I have been trained to clear up gun jams it does take a second or two.

This fit the bill for me:
A Ruger .357 magnum. Not a bad back-up or primary weapon.

The only con is it only holds 5 shots, but I can reload it fairly quickly. Not as fast as a semi-auto, but hopefully, fast enough, and hopefully, I wouldn't need more than 5 shots anyhow. Besides, it's mostly for back-up. I can easily conceal the 9mm or .40 cal in a shoulder holster, or a hip holster if I wear an extra large, short sleeve shirt that ain't tucked in.

When out and about, especially in the summer, it's a balancing act between comfort and firepower, and sure, I don't look as good in a baggy shirt that ain't tucked in, but most folks rarely give me a second glance anyhow, which is fine by me.
I hate signing autographs anyway.

Oh, I also recommend carrying a decent knife (make sure you know your state laws on legal blade length). A knife is a good last resort defensive tool, as well as an invaluable, all-purpose survival tool.

Caught in a burning car but your seatbelt is jammed?
Is your car sinking in a lake or river and you can't get the automatic windows down or door open?
Have you ever found yourself in a restaurant trying to use a super dull restaurant knife to cut your well done, even though you asked for medium rare steak?
Need to make an emergency tracheotomy? I saw one on tv, so I'm purty sure I could do it if I had to. Of course I would also need a pen or straw. Stat!

There are so many uses for a good knife.
Mushroom, aka Dwaine has a some good links at his site about knives and how to sharpen them correctly, if you decide it's a good idea to have one.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Give To Live

After Patti's death, one of the changes I went going through is that I find it easier to give than I used to.
Easier to put other people above my self.

So when I feel an urge to give, I don't question it like I used to, I simply do it.
That's not to say I allow my emotions to be manipulated by a bum with a puppy, particularly since most bums are sex offenders that belong behind bars, but there's a difference between emotional giving and giving inspired by God.
It feels different for one thing.

Would I be able to tell the difference if I didn't work hard to master my emotions rather than being mastered by emotions? Perhaps not, I can't say for sure.
Mostly because I have been working at mastering my emotions for a long time (thanks to Bob at One Cosmos for helping me do that). So dispassionate passionate giving is an easier transition than it might have been thanks to me being open more to wisdom than whatever I may be feeling at a given moment.

Does that mean I wouldn't ever give to a bum (or homeless person, or someone that's just goin' through a rough patch) with (or without) a puppy? Not at all.
In fact I already have. However, it's not something' I do automatically, unless I get that inspiration from my reverence points.
After all, God is able to tell the difference between a scam artist and someone who really does need a helping hand up better than I ever could.

Friday, March 13, 2015

In My Dreams

Yeah, so this song was playin' in my head last night while I was dreamin'.
Except, instead of seeing the lady in the video I saw Patti. And I didn't see the band.

Anyways, Patti was saying something but I couldn't make out what it was, so I looked for where the source of the music was coming from so I could turn it down.
Problem was, I couldn't find the source.

Eventually, I found it. It was a stereo that looked like a phone.
I looked for the volume control to turn it down, but Patti shook her head to stop me and placed three of her fingers on my lips, because I was about to talk and she wanted me to be quiet.

I remember hugging, and maybe we danced, or everything danced around us, I couldn't be sure since I was focused so much on Patti's eyes and her beautiful face, and she was staring intently into mine.
It was whelming, but not overwhelming. I mean, just not quite overwhelming, emotionally.
Or maybe a better word is rapturous.

Until the song ended. I started to speak again but Patti stopped me again, in the same way.
Then another song began to play.

I hadn't heard this song in a very long time.
Patti smiled and her brown eyes twinkled. Really. It was dazzling, in fact.
Then she spoke again.

I didn't hear her but I knew what she said this time.
She said, I'll see you in your dreams. I'll be here, waiting, until you join me.
The song ended, and Patti spoke again, except this time I heard her.
"Don't worry and be of good cheer HB," she said, smiling.

Once again, I attempted to speak and once again she stopped me, same as before.
When she touched my lips the dream faded away.

Then I woke up, with tears streaming out of my eyes.
And I smiled.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015


Aye. Soulshinin' is something' to aspire to. We've all met people that have what seems like an immense soul shine.
Patti, my grandma, my brothers, sisters and friends I have met on the 'net. And a few others I have had the privilege of meeting throughout my life.

How does one soulshine more?

Well, I'm working' on it, but I do know the number one thing I need to do and that's be thankful.
Without that one can't begin to soulshine at all.

Cultivatin' joy would be another thing I can do. It takes practice for me. Some folks seem to be born with it, while others need to practice more and focus through meditation, contemplation, prayer.
Jest gotta dive in and do it.

Which brings me to givin'.
Not just materially. but through prayer, friendship, love, honor, sacrifice...etc..
But you know, when I give it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. I need to give more to receive more.
But I can't give for that reason. It doesn't work that way.

No, I must give because it's the right thing to do. Sure, it may feel uncomfortable at times but it's liberating too. Therapeutic even.

Which leads me to forgiveness, of others and myself.
I gotta say this is the most difficult for me, but I know I must if I wanna transcend past where I am now.
Doesn't mean I gotta be best friends with those I forgive, but those chains need breakin' nonetheless.

Practicin' the virtues sure will go a long way to help me soulshine brighter.
When I do all these things in honesty then verily God's grace will flow like a river into my soul.

Thank you, my friends for soulshinin' on me. God bless you all.