Monday, June 30, 2014

My Best Friend

As you guys know, Patti passed a day before we had met 33 years ago.
Today, June 30th, 1981, we got married and began our adventure through life.

There was smooth sailin' and rough sailin', fair winds and storms, good times and not so good times, but I remember much more good times than bad.

Truly I can say this:
Patti is my best friend and she always had my back, stickin' with me through some hellacious storms, a few that were consequences of foolish choices I had made, yet she never wavered, never sought the easy way out, never quit believing in me, even when I didn't believe in my self.

Before Patti passed, she had gotten me a card for our anniversary. I chose not to open it until today. Just seemed like the right thing to do.
She didn't have the time to write anything on it, but she wouldn't have gotten it for me unless it said whatwas in her heart.

Seems also right to share it with you guys, who I consider good friends, brothers and sisters.

Our lives have taken us in so many different directions since we first became friends, and yet our friendship has remained a gentle bond that keeps us from drifting too far apart.

We've been there for each other in good times and bad, with support and sympathy, laughter, and love.

As I think about our friendship I realize it is one of the God given gifts I cherish most about my life...
And today, I just wanted to be sure you knew it, too.

Thanks Babe, and Happy Anniversary! I love you forever!

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Gotta Read Between The Lines

When I was young I thought I knew what love was...until I met Patti. I'm still learning, of course, but my Love taught me so much more about love than I ever dreamed was possible.

Patti liked Bobby Darin, Connie Francis and those cheesy surfer flicks. I used to kid her about it but they made her smile and that was good enough for me. Besides, Patti loved the Three Stooges too, so her sense of humor was excellent although I think she got too many ideas from Moe. :^)

Patti always gave me a kiss when this song was playing. So naturally this was a song I listened to, a lot.

Lately love, well it hurts. But I know it's a good kind of hurt.

Ironically, because of love I am able to endure it.

And, hopefully, grow from it...

Monday, June 16, 2014


Last night, for the first time since Patti died, I had a dream.

The first thing I recall from this dream is how remarkedly vivid it was.
Usually, I know when I'm dreaming. But not last night. Not at first.

Vivid. It felt real and it looked real. It even smelled real. Super duper high def (without the download wait)!

At the beginning of the dream I'm walking down the hallway to our living room. When the entire living room and the kitchen (in between me and the living room) is in view I see her, sitting in her favorite chair!

I'm taken aback and I stop. Try as I might I cannot process what I am seeing adequately.

"Patti!" I shouted, a feeling of relief and joy overwhelming me.

My God can this be true?

I move forward, slowly, afraid to take my eyes off of Patti (not that I wanted to)!

Patti turns her head to look at me and smiles.

And my heart khips a beat in excitement!

Then the questions start. Questions I could've done without. At least for awhile longer.

Was I dreaming Patti's death and everything these last few weeks? Am I dreaming? This doesn't make sense.

And then I woke up.

I curse my mind for asking these questions snd tell it to "shut up! You fool!"

Tears flow from my eyes for a time and then I recall Patti's smile...which causes me to smile.

Thank you, Lord, I thought.

"I love you, Patti," I said, getting up to take the dogs out.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Riding My Blues...Aweigh

This song...definitely strikes a chord through my soul...right through the hole in my heart...and the whole in my heart.

Our daughters selected the perfect urn. Such incredible beauty! They get their artistic talents from Mom.

As is this candle holder and a more recent photo of Patti!
All three together, along with our children, our music and your prayers fills the hole in my heart into a whole again.

Grief n' joy. Joy n' grief.

The sun was shining...shining God's grace. The clouds are pouring...pouring God's grace.
And although I have lost my love, she is not lost. We are parted for now but not forever.
The seeds of love, planted within by our Father and nourished by Patti, continue to grow, by God's grace...
And my choice to be thankfull rather than bitter.

A choice that is easy for me to make, thanks to Patti and our wonderful children. And. of course, His Blood and Spirit.

We had a very poignant, joyfull service. We all shared good memories of Patti and we continue to learn from her example to never give up, no matter how painful it may be at times.

I was truly blessed beyond measure to have had the privilege and honor to be Patti's husband for 33 years.
She was an outstanding Mom, wife, sister, daughter and friend. She is my best friend and one, true love.
Thank you my love.
Patti's Memorial

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Remember When

Patti's Memorial Fund

One of the things I used to really enjoy was slow dancing with Patti.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Where Is Mommy?

Patti's Memorial Fund

Yesterday I made the monthly garbage run. Since we live out in the sticks I hafta take the garbage to the county dump.
When I returned the dogs ran around the truck, waiting for Mommy to pop out. When she didn't appear they stood on their hind legs, looking on with anticipation.

My vision blurred and I felt a lump in my throat. What could I say? I felt bad for them because they don't know.
And nothing I say will help.

"She's not here puppies," I croaked, feeling the hot sting anew in my eyes.

They look at me, puzzled and circle the truck again.

"Come here doggies," I whispered, dropping to my knees.

I hugged them both and we just stayed there awhile.

Friday, June 6, 2014

There Will Be Sunshine Again

Patti's Memorial Fund

Another favorite song of Patti's (and another one of our songs)

From one of our favorite flicks.

If any time calls for the blues now certainly does.

Yes I know this my friends...there'll be sunshine again.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Who If Not You

This was one of Patti's favorite songs, and also one of our favorite songs.

I really lost it when I heard this song today.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Godspeed My Love

I'll see you when it's my time to join you, dear Annie.

Tomorrow will be the 33rd anniversary of the day I met Patti. This morning she passed away in her sleep.
She was only 57 when our Father called her Home.

I will miss you so much, my love.


Seawinds Calling. A little ditty from '79. Do the seawinds call?
Aye, that they do. I hear 'em a lot. Doesn't matter where I'm at. Mountains, desert, woods, walmart, hooters...thar be the seawinds...calling.

One of these days I'll be answering them, if you catch my drift...sea drift that is.

Okay, this next video is a great song, but the video? WTH were they thinking with the mickey mouse gloves and that...that Richard Simmons shirt? And am I imagining it, or is the lead guitarist smirking (if he is it's at the lead singer for wearing that get-up.
Hey, I get the long hair but the rest is jest...LOLOLOL!!!

You make me feel (like NEVER again!)

This last video is in memory of D-Day, which is on June 7th for those who may have fergot. If you fergot drop and give me twenty maggot! But if you remembered you get to enjoy the music sooner. And remember...