Monday, February 15, 2010

Lost In Lust

So love blossomed (or so I thought) between Linda, the barmaid and young Ben the sailor man.
I was happier than I could recall bein'. "Singin' in the rain" kinda happy (or singin' in a torrential downpour kinda delusion, to be more precise).
Truth be told it was a saccharin-like, sickly sweet happiness that's too sweet for it's own good. Hey, I got nothin' against genuine happiness with natural (or supernatural) sweetener, but that artificial stuff just don't cut it, you know?

By the way, have you ever thought you knew what love was only to find out you only knew one more thing love ain't (as in a dagger in the heart kinda ain't)?

But let's not get ahead of the story here, because afterall, getting there (or here) is half the fun. Or whatever percentage it happens to be. Hey, I'm not gonna do the math, okay?

Anyhow, so love was blossoming...yadda, yadda, yadda...and everything appeared to be copasetic, at least to me. To my friends, not so much.

"You're what?" Rick asked, in disbelief.

I could tell everyone else wanted to ask the same thing, but Rick had beat them to it so they simply shook their heads in agreement with Rick's disbelief.

"Gee thanks guys. It's not like I formed a suicide pact with Lucifer. I thought you guys would be, oh, I dunno, maybe just a wee bit happy for me. What was I thinkin'?" I replied, with no small amount of sarcasm.

"Hey Ben, it's not like that. You hardly know her. We just don't wanna see you have any regrets," Rick said, again to a lot of nodding heads.

"What, you think love at fist sight ain't possible? You think I'm an idiot?" I retorted.

"Not in so many words," Eric muttered, but there wasn't unanimous agreement with that. Some of the guys were thinkin' about it.

"No, I ain't saying that," Rick said, shooting a glaring glance at Eric. "Look, all I'm saying is you might wanna slow down. Marriage is a huge step. I mean, what's the rush?"

"Well, we are moving down to San Diego after sea trials," I said, "and it's not like I can jsut take a bus up here everyday after work.. "Besides, I just know she's the one, okay?" I answered, more irritated than angry.

"Can I throw the bachelor party?" Jeff asked. "I throw a killer bachelor party."

"They haven't set a date yet, stupid," Mark said.

"You guys aren't helping," Rick said.

"Well thanks for your concern. I am touched," I said, sarcastically. "now if you'll excuse me, I got work to do," I continued, before making a hasty retreat.

"He's touched alright," I heard someone, probably Eric say as the door swung shut.

I'll prove them wrong, I thought. Sh*t, what's wrong with those guys? It's not like I'm joining a monastary or something.

Later in the day Chief motioned me over to his desk.

"What's this about you getting married?" Chief asked.

Great. I tell all my friends, many having security clearances, but can they keep their mouth's shut? Of course they can't.

"Where did you hear that, Chief?" I asked.

"I hear things. Is it true?" He asked.

"Well, yeah," I replied, preparing for a lecture.

"Okay, make sure you fill out a request chit," Chief said, smiling.

"Request chit?" I asked, dumbfounded. "Are you serious?"

"Yes I am. Personnel needs to know for your records, and when you make OS3 you'll get money to help with housing. Don't worry, I have never seen one disapproved. Congratulations! And good luck," Chief said putting his hand out.

"Um...thanks Chief," I replied, shaking his hand. "So...that's it?" I asked.

"Unless you have any questions," Chief replied.

"No, I'm good to go," I lied.

Actually, I had lots of questions, but I was far to proud to ask them at this point.
I was actually somewhat disappointed that Chief didn't lecture me, though.

Maybe that comes after I fill out the request chit, I thought. At any rate, the "singing in the rain" feelin' I was feelin' was gone by this time.
Later that evening it was back, however and I was once again flyin' first class on "singing in the rain" errlines.

Unfortunately, there was no stewardess to show me where the emergency exits were located in the event of a crash landing...


USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi guys!

Sorry for the hit n' run. I'll be back soon. I think I got that sleeping disease.

julie said...

So you're saying we'll need a flotation device for the next installment? Or maybe a parachute?

That's tricky to manage when clinging to the cliff side, but we'll get it sorted out ;)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Ha ha! Good idea's Julie!
It's always a good idea to be prepared when readin' these extreme stories.

They do, however, include complimentary err bags...for your safety. :^)

jwm said...

This trainride seems all too familiar. How is it that everyone else around us can see that the tracks run straight into a stone wall, while we crank up the throttle, and believe that the ride goes on forever? WV says "blers" That must be it. the blers get in your eyes.


Sal said...

wait a minute- did I miss something?
One second she's putting a bandaid on your face and the next you're going to tie the knot?
Backstory, please?
Some of us are slow and linear thinkers...

mushroom said...

I was actually somewhat disappointed that Chief didn't lecture me, though.

Yep, somewhere in the depths there always lurks the spark of truth just looking for a little tinder -- or gasoline fumes.

mushroom said...

Sal, the equation is pretty simple.


Not that I ever did anything like this, but I've heard the mixture can cure and set up pretty quickly -- hours if not minutes.

f/zero said...

Pure woogic, per wv. 'Nuff said.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi John,

I've oftened wondered that myself.
Sort of like an Amtrack bullet train would be; more bang for your buck...literally.
Spectacular explosion included. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Sal!

Well, I had planned to but Mushroom stole my idea. :^)
But I will trudge on with the backstory anyhow, for all the comedic value I might be able to squeeze out of it.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Mushroom,

Did you say "gasoline" and "spark?"
It's almost like you read my mind. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Mushroom, throwing in young, stupid, naive, and not terribly bright could be added to the basic formula, along with waay too much psycho-drama n' stuff that's quite apparent in hindsight, but that's what the backstory is for.

Otherwise, I would be out of business. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Don't tell me it's too woogical, Dojo.
I don't wanna be too predictable here. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hey guys, I was wondering if you could include me in your prayers.
I think I may have ulcers (and hopefully not something worse).

At least it appears that way based on my symptoms the last three days.
Heck, it could be a lot of different things, so I'm just guessin'.
(Skully is layin' out the odds and taking bets if you're so inclined). :^)

Plus, it's kinda painful...okay, it hurts like the dickens, and it's really cramping my style and cuttin' into my slack.

I'll know more after I see Doc.
Thanks! :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

I got an e-mail from Doc, and he can fit me in at noon tomorrow.
The reason it is so soon? Because, and Doc didn't tell me this, he's seeing me during his lunch time.

THIS is what socialized healthcare FORCES good Doc's to do.
And it pisses me off, because he is forced to give up his lunch hour to help me.

All because Congress won't support the VA with what it needs. Something the private, free enterprise sector can do much more efficiently than govt. could ever do.

I hope someday that happens. In the meantime, I can't thank folks like Doc enough for the sacrifices they make to help our warriors by any means they possibly can.

For the misguided sheeple who want "free" healthcare I can only say they are not only clueless, they are committing cluelesside. (HT: Gagdad Bob for that superbly accurate terminology).

When idiots talk about how great socialized healthcare is, I can only surmise they never talked to a veteran or their family who need to use it.

The ONLY reason it works to any extent is because of patriots like Doc who sacrifice their own time (and meals).
And they shouldn't have to.

But these idiots won't let reality cloud their views.