Saturday, March 14, 2009

Catscratch Fever Fu

Act 12: Hot N' Sweaty Noir

Reality is like the ultimate repo man. You miss too many payments and you will soon discover that everything you were paying on is gone and you no longer have a good credit rating. And not only is your credit ruined, but so is your credibility.
So basically, you're screwed and you hafta walk. A lot.
Not too mention you're no longer the cool kid with the nice ride. Make you're payments, kids. Don't be a fool like uncle Mack.

"You know what? I sure could use a glass of whiskey," I said, tryin' to interrupt.

"Melodramatic? Are you kidding me? Why don't you go do the dishes? I'm sure you could use the break!" Annie said, shoving Hanna aside.

Oh sh*t, I thought. Must have been Annie I heard at the door earlier.

"Why you...bitch!" Hanna exclaimed, slapping Annie. Then it was on.

"So is that a no?" I mumbled, a sinking feeling in my heart.

"Slut!" Annie shouted, tackling Hanna and pulling her hair.

"Sensei!" I exclaimed. "You must stop them!" But Sensei ignored me, and was intently watching the brawl that had developed. Was that a smile? He's smiling! I can't believe this!

I heard the girls fighting, but I had lost visual. I still couldn't move, and my eyes were straining to catch a glimpse.

"Ow! Let's see how you like it!" Hanna said.

"Ahh! Why you!" Annie said. Then I heard a ripping noise. Rip!

"No way!" Hanna exclaimed. "Take this!" Rip!

"I don't know're so upset," Annie grunted, as I saw them both roll into view, still wrestling and pulling hair. "It's not like you haven't...flaunted them recently."

They both struggled to get up, and then I noticed their blouses were torn. As were their bras. Sensei looked...enchanted, his head moving ever so slightly as if in response to the swaying of Annie and Hanna's breasts. I almost said something, but I too became entranced. Both ladies were beginning to sweat profusely, and were breathing hard.

"You've done nothing...but throw...yourself at Mack...since he arrived," Hanna said, between breaths.

"At least I...didn't throw myself...on him!" Annie countered.

Hanna tripped Annie but Annie pulled her down too, and soon they were rolling around again, trying to gain leverage on each other. It almost seemed like a dance to me. As they rolled closer, their blouses in tatters, their bodies pressed firmly together. I tried to think...unsuccessfully, I might add.

"Oof!" I said, involuntarily, as they both rolled over me, causing the nerves around my wounds to protest.

"That is none...of your business!" Hanna shouted, struggling, as she was pinned by Annie.

"Since it screw your patients?!" Annie asked, using gravity to help her hold Hanna's wrists down.
"Or is that...part of the...treatment? Huh?" Annie continued, her ample breasts swaying as Hanna tried to rock her off.

"!" Hanna protested.

They both struggled for a few more minutes, both soaked with sweat, and gasping for breath. Their chests heaving. Hanna flipped Annie with her legs, quickly getting to her feet.

Annie also scrambled to get up as Hanna rushed her with a flying kick. Annie ducked and Hanna landed like a cat, on her feet. Annie threw a jab and Hanna deflected, countering with an elbow that Annie blocked. Up until this moment I had no idea Annie could fight.

Then the gams started flyin'. From my vantage point, it was difficult to keep up, but I gave it the old college try.
There's somethin' to be said about gam fu. Especially when the gams are so exquisitely beautiful. Some would say this is poetry in art form that admittedly appeals much more to dicks, and sensei's, than to dames. Unless the sensei or dick is a dame. But I digress.

Hanna charged Annie, who grabbed Hanna by the arms, sidestepped, and using Hanna's momentum pressed her against the wall, holding her arms out. Again they both struggled, but Annie held her there, their bare, sweaty breasts touching, heaving together.

At this point I may have been drooling. Yes, I know, dicks are pigs. What can I say? I tried not to think about it. Yeah...right.

Annie and Hanna finally ran out of steam. As mad as they were neither one was seriously hurt. There were some bruises and lot's of sweat, but no blood, thankfully.

"Why? I thought...we were friends," Annie said softly, releasing Hanna. Tears welled in her eyes.

"Annie, I...oh, I'm sorry!" Hanna replied, hugging her. "I don't know what...came over me," she continued, crying now as well. "I didn't want to hurt you."

Annie looked surprised, but she hugged Hanna back. I felt pretty low at that point, and somewhat disturbed that the catscratch fever fu had seemed so...incredibly sexy, a moment ago. Before the tears started flowing that is. Okay, it was still sexy. I mean, both dames were knockouts and they were huggin'. Breast to breast...sweatin'.
I tried not to think about it.

"I understand...I guess. There's something about him that...I don't know. I thought..." Annie said, not finishing.

When they finally released each other it was still difficult not to look at their breasts, glistening with sweat. As if on cue both women finally seemed to notice their breasts were exposed...just as Akira rushed into the room.

Akira froze. His expression was that of surprise, or perhaps mortified, as he tried to make sense of the scene. The bra's on the floor, the tattered blouses...and the heaving breasts, glistening with sweat.

Both ladies covered themselves with their arms and Akira put his hands over his eyes. Apparently the shock had wore off and his brain was once again functioning.
Annie and Hanna hastily left the room, no doubt looking for some shirts that were a bit less revealing. And probably a shower. I tried not to think about it.

"What happened?" Akira asked, as he lowered his hands, red with embarrassment.

"A disagreement," Sensei replied, disappointedly.

"What about?" Akira asked.

"Who cares?" Sensei replied. "Ah, do you hear that? That's the shower. Can you here the music? For decades that shower sounded the same, but today, it is a symphony."

They're BOTH in the shower? I wondered, tryin' not to think about it. Or their breasts, glistening with soap n' water.

Akira sighed, shaking his head.

"Want me to go ask what the disagreement is about?" Sensei asked.

"No!" Akira exclaimed. "I'm sure Hanna will tell me if it's important. How much longer until Mack can move, Sensei?"

"It's going to take all night if you keep interrupting me," Sensei replied.

Akira bowed and left the room. Sensei got up, walked over, and picked up the bra's.

"Finders keepers," Sensei said, chuckling.

"You are going to return them, aren't you?" I asked.

"No, they are broken. Yes, see? They are broken," Sensei said, flashing them so quickly I couldn't see.

"They can probably repair them," I said.

"No...they are beyond repair," Sensei replied.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Of course I am sure, what kind of question is that? They cannot be worn. Too bad," Sensei replied, smiling.

"You are repeating yourself," I said, smiling.

"And you think too much," Sensei replied. "Remember, loose lips sink ships."

"I...understand," I said. "My lips are sealed."

"That is an improvement. There is hope for you yet. Unless Akira finds out the truth, then...not so much," Sensei said, smiling.

"In the unfortunate event that happens I would prefer to be, oh, I don't know, not paralyzed. Any idea's as to why...aah!" I yelled. My body was on fire again, and it was all I could do to remain concious.

"This is very bad," Sensei said, looking into my eyes. "Your is poisoned!"

"What? My...soul?" I grunted, from the pain.

"Mack-san...there are poisons that go beyond flesh and blood. Soon you may not be capable of discerning reality from illusion or understanding anything I say. You won't be able to trust your eyes or ears. Search for truth within yourself only. The pain you feel will get worse. Much worse. You must not give up, do you understand? You must fight for your very soul!" Sensei said. "Akira!" Sensei shouted.

Worse than this? Much worse? Good God! I could barely stand it as it was!

"About...that...whiskey," I quipped, through clenched teeth.


USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi gang!

Just a precautionary note. That last pic you see on this post?

Well, if you decide to go the the web address, be advised it's not safe for work, and there is a lot of nudity and then some, plus real catfights.
Oh, and maybe pron. I didn't stay there very long, and it was strictly research, so I'm not sure as to what extent the pron may or may not go.

Took me a long time to find that pic! No, not at that site. I actually found it via google and then checked the site out, looking for more pics and getting several eyes full (more like overflowing)in the process.

Who knew this was such a big cottage industry in Japan? I can't say I'm surprised, except at perhaps the high popularity it seems to have.

Anyhow, I warned you. I didn't warn Skully, or he would've gone right over there. However, I know you guys are smarter than that, and you will diligently heed my warning.

walt said...

Let's see: Those breasts were

- ample √
- sweaty √
- heaving √

Got it. I mean, it's not like you didn't emphasize it, in a rhetorical sense -- but I just wanted you to know: I. Got. It.

Does Patti know what you're writing?

Pretty good cat fight! Like Sensei, I was sorry it ended so soon -- but I guess that's why we were created with eyeballs and memories. Unlike Sensei, however, I'm not into ladies' undergarments all that much -- though perhaps he was just wanting to salvage the clasps for one of his hobby projects. Might as well not speculate too much.

I see cat fights all the time, and yes, the fur does fly at times! But, uh ... different than what you described.

I'm thinking, if Sensei can't save Mack, then he's a gonner fer sure! I mean, if Red Scorpion Tea™ can't "delete" the witch ... wait! I know: send in Hanna and Annie! Heck, Mack already has them, er, firmly embedded in his brain -- just think what sort of Gam-fu could be produced!

There was a scene at the beginning of Hero like that -- remember? Jet Li and his opponent (Spear Boy) duked it out in their imaginations to see who was best. And the old blind musician plucked his instrument throughout ....

julie said...


QP said...

♨-y ♨-ier ♨-iest ✔++

Robin Starfish said...

Ha! Speakin' of research, on my way to the Philippines once, I had a stopover in Japan for a day. At a streetside bookstore I spied a stack of these newfangled comics - big ones, about a half inch thick, so I grabbed one and stuffed it in my pack to give to my son who was heading over to Japan himself not long after. He was about 15, I think. Good learning material, I figured.

I forgot about it until I got back home, and pulled it out to show my wife. She paged through it and said, "Are you kidding me? You're going to give him this!?"

Turns out that there was plenty of graphic 'adult instruction' scattered throughout the cool looking anime or manga or whatever it's called. Hey, who knew? ;-)

On the other hand, if it had been one of the Noir Fu series, I'da bought several!

Jimmy j. said...

Ample...Sweaty... Heaving....Breasts!
I'm trying not to think about it. Unsuccessfully.

Bogie said...

Ya shee, Mack?
I tolja them dames was trouble, and now youse's got trouble up to the armpits. They're all actin' like a bunch a boobs if ya ask me. But, uh nobody asked me. Nex' time them dames goes nuts you should have me there, Mack. I could'a helped.


USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

- ample √
- sweaty √
- heaving √

You fergot HOT, Walt. And I can think of more, um, colorful adjectives butt this is a family blog.

Does Patti know what I'm writing?
Hmmm, I don't think so. Not yet anyway. I got no bruises that I'm aware of.

I did try to leave some things to the imagination. You know, that space between the the space between notes is very are other spaces.

I strive for the METAphysical noir, which may be more apparent in the next episode. Ths act bein' more metaPHYSICAL. Balance and all.
You can't have too much of it. That I gno of.

Aye, too much speculation leads down roads we may not wanna travel. Like taking a jeepnee in the Phillippines up a narrow mountain road with deadly drop-offs. Not a good idea. Trust me.

Ahh, the Red Scorpion Tea did do something to help Mack physically, but soul poison...well, that's some nasty stuff right there.
At least Sensei did diegnosis it, so perhaps not all is lost.

Good call on that scene from Hero, Walt! Yes, it will be like that except more...crazy, I reckon. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Julie! :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

((QP!)) Who needs special effects when you got steam? :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Ha ha! Aye! You gotta be careful with Japanese manga/anime stuff. Their "comics" can be very titillating indeed. Not for the youngun's.

And thanks! That means a lot to me! :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Jim-

Aye! Just writin' this gave me a coNIPtion. In a good sense, of course. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Thanks Bogie!

It woulda been interestin' to see how you woulda...a, handled the titulation. I mean, situation.
Sorry, I'm all tongue-tied here. :^)

mushroom said...

Whoa. Nice work, Ben.

Thank God they weren't fighting in the kitchen where they could have gotten covered in extra virgin olive oil.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Oh man! I should consult you next time I write a catfight scene. Extra virgin olive oil?
Drats! Maybe next time...if my heart can take it. :^)

Thanks, Mushroom. The next act will take a radically new path, you might say. Will it change Mack? Will he survive?
Stay tuned true believers for the next exciting episode where Mack will say: "What do you mean you got no whiskey?"
And Sensei will say: "what bra's?"