Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas! Imopup style.


As Imopup gathers her undead, dachsi mummy army and trys to take over the world (or get free snacks (preferably made of meat) anytime she wants...which is all the time (hey, did you notice the parenthesis within the parentheses? Imopup made me do it)) I hope you all have a blessed Christmas and a healthy New Year!

I made a resolution not to make resolutions but to do them...quietly...without braggin'. Assuming I actually do them. You know how that is. But I intend to. It's just that, if I actually do the resolutions I can't tell you guys.

So you will hafta ask. Hmm, I think I found a resolution and humblebillity loophole here.
But first, I hope Santa got you what you wanted this Christmas. If not, don't be so subtle next year.
Remember, Santa likes go getters. But he doesn't like assouls so don't be an assoul about it.

I want a Mossberg 590 (holds 8 rounds plus 1 in the chamber)! But I'll be happy with grog. Meanin' I'll settle...if I have to.

BTW, one of my resolutions may be to get a mossberg 590. May be. Not sayin' it is or nothin'.
I'm assuming I ain't gettin' the 590 this Christmas because none of the gifts are big enough (although one is big enough for shotgun shells...but it's not so fun without the shotgun. However, remember that Lone Ranger episode where he had bullets but no gun and he used some rocks to fire a bullet off and get the bad guy)?

So maybe shotgun shells are fun without the gun. I dunno. I'll have Skully give it a whirl if I do get the shells. He likes doing stuff like that. Especially after eggnog.

I know it will be a good Christmas, even without the 590. Because I got a beautiful wife and great kids (who can't make it here this year but that's what phones are for)...and, of course, Imopup and her minion, Skully (her brother) who are busy taking over the world as we speak.

In the meantime, don't panic, enjoy your eggnog or hot buttered rums or whathaveyou and enjoy the show.
Besides, we all know that Imopup is mucho better than the current cur that pretends to be a leader taking yet another exhausting vacation.

So elect Imopup for President and get a complimentary milkbone (all the minions are getting one)! Just tell the store clerks Imopup sent ya (offer may not be applicable to every store so ask your loco store clek today).

Oh, and thanks you guys for reading my pulp non-fiction drivel. I hope to write much more (which may or may not be a resolution, I can't say) in the future.
There's still a few stories left in this ol' geezers repetoire just itchin' to set sail on the high seas and I aim to bring as many as possible to this blog. Exclusively!

Merry Christmas!


USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Yiks! That phone photo looks kind of crappy on the blog.
Weird. It looked so much better on Patti's phone.

Obviously a plot to take down Queen Imopups' throne.

Well, it ain't gonna work!

julie said...

You can see the glowing eyes, though so that's probably the important thing.

Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year to you, Patti, your girls, and Imopup!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Julie!

It's just that the dumb phone was so much cheaper than the smart phone. :^)

John Lien said...

Merry Christmas Ben to you and your family. I'll be checking in.

I know what you mean about the resolutions and keeping them quiet, talking about them somehow ruins the mojo. On the other hand, it takes the pressure off, which may or may not be a good thing.

Got us a Mossberg 500 tactical (aka zombie killer) at the wife's insistence. (One reason I still love her after all these years.) Good bang for the buck (referring to the Mossberg).

Better stop writing now, first rule of finding oneself in a hole and all that.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi John!

Thank you!
The Mossberg tactical is a superb choice! We used those on the last ship I was on for security, as well as the trusty Colt .45.
Unfortunately, they have now gone to 9 mil's.

Merry Christmas to you and your family!

AndrewPrice said...

Merry Christmas Ben to you, your family and your dachsi!

Ours has a nice Christmas lying around being lazy until a fox crossed before the window and she was called upon to defend the house with a barking fit! LOL!

Joan of Argghh! said...

Merry Christmas Ben! You and Patti are such a blessing to us all.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Thanks Andrew!

I hope your Christmas was a good one. Ours sure was.

Ha ha! I think that dachsis believe they are bigger than they are or vicious enough to beat any perceived threat.
Perhaps because they were bred to go after badghers who are pretty vicious themselves.
It's fun to watch them. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Aw shucks, Joan. Thank you!
You are a great blessing too, to a lot of folks, including me! :^)

Happy New Year guys!