Monday, December 28, 2009

Hasta La Vista Baby!

When I realized my 'puter was fried (yea, verily!) I wasn't as bummed out as I would expect. Could be the Vista program on the dead 'puter has been a major pain in the asshola, or perhaps I have matured to the point where this kinda thing is like water off a ducks back.
I'm leanin' towards the major pain in the asshola.

I found myself smiling. A genuine smile. Hmm.

"Hasta la Vista you pice of s**t! And good riddance," I muttered, calmly.
So what now? I wondered.

"We can probably afford another one in February", Patti said.

"Not before we get your toothache taken care of. Luxury takes a back seat to your teeth," I replied.

I was serious. I mean, sure a new 'puter (IF it works better than Vista) would be nice, but like a cell phone it ain't a necessity.
Health is. Especially Patti's health. It's a priority! My wife comes first!

Besides...If.She.Hurts...I.Hurt. If you catch my drift. So yeah, maybe there is some self interest at work here, but I really don't like to see her in pain, even if I'm spared the, um, side effects (collateral damage) of that pain, which is most unpleasant.

"I have an idea but it might not work," Patti said. "Why not try the old Windows XP computer?"

"We still got that?" I asked.

Yeah, we do. Patti sets stuff on it, like a table for other electronic stuff.

"Yeah, we do," Patti said.

"Okay, I'll give it a whirl," I said.

"It will probably take a long time to update...if it works", Patti said, tepidly.

"Hey I'm not gettin' my hopes up. If it works, then great. If not, I'm not gonna get my panties in a bunch over it," I said. "If I had panties, that is," I quickly added.

"You're a loon," Patti replied.

A Coon loon, I would've said had I thought about it at the time.

So I hooked up the older 'puter, and replaced Patti's little "table thingy" with the Vista piece.

"Damn!" I grunted.

"What?" Patti asked.

"This XP hard drive is a lot heavier than the Vista one. Not that that's a problem. Just sayin'," I said.

Why in the hell don't they put handles on these things? I wondered. Would I get rich if I patented handles for hard drives and other stuff that don't have handles but should?
Nah! Too much paperwork, I concluded.

But this thought has caused an all out debate between my self and the rest of me.
Visions of endless rivers of grog dance through my head. That's hard to argue with. Anyone wanna help me get a patent on this idea? I'll cut you in on a piece of the action. This could be bigger than the handles on can openers idea (say, why did that take so long?)!

Where was I? Oh, right. As you can see, the XP relic actually far. Don't mind me, I ain't really bein' cynical...much. Jest realistic. Main thing is it works now. I like it a helluva lot better than Vista, too.

See ya in the funny papers, my friends. :^)


robinstarfish said...

Hey welcome back to the funny farm, Ben! Missed ya. Alot!

Lotsa holiday greetings to catch up on too, so here they are all rolled up into one: Happy New Thanksmas!

julie said...

Cool - so we can look forward to more Ben in the new year?

I hope Patti's teeth are all taken care of soon! Also, I hope you guys had a great Christmas, and that the coming year is full of blessings.

Anonymous said...

Old computer, new computer, let's call the whole thing off.
I'll tell you about old...I remember when they hadn't invented the old computer yet.
Merry Christmas, Cap'n!

Anonymous said...

Oh..and don't worry, Ben. Microsoft has a new operating system coming out. Slogan: "That's not a crash, it's a do over!"


jwm said...

Glad to see you back on line, Ben. I hope your Christmas was as good as the one we had down here. Take care


Joan of Argghh! said...

W00t! Belated Christmas cheer, to see you here again!!


wv: bensita, Ben's site 'a been down for too long.

mushroom said...

I still run XP on my laptop. My ancient desktop runs Ubuntu. Glad you're back in the game.

My granddaughter wants me to replace the Vista on her new laptop with "something else". We'll see about 7.

Happy New Year!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Thanks, Dojo!
This is the funniest farm I've ever had the privilege of, um, farmin' at.

Happy Everything!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Thanks Julie!

Now that the XP is updated (except for IE 8, which is, coincidentally? when my last 'puter began it's downward spiral into 'puter'livion) it looks like...maybe/kinda/sorta.

I'm still tryin' to read the signs which are covered by grafitti. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hey Rick!

Thanks! Merry ChristmasNew Year!
I recall those days...when 'puters were still the apple of Mac daddy's eye.

I think the problems are just built into them now, once someone realized how lucrative they can be.
Which explains why Maytag don't make 'em. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Speakin' of "crash" I suspect I'm the crash test dummy in this case.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Thanks John!

It sure was! Got to see our youngest daughter for a few days. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Joan!

Thanks! Belated cheer to you too, Christmas, New Years and cheerios, not to mention cheers in and of itself. :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Mushroom!

Thanks! If you get W7 for her let me know if it's kosher. Hopefully it will be. We don't need another Vista without a view out there.

Van said...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Ben!

Gecko said...

Hey Ben, glad you're back! Happy New Year.