Hasta La Vista Baby!

When I realized my 'puter was fried (yea, verily!) I wasn't as bummed out as I would expect. Could be the Vista program on the dead 'puter has been a major pain in the asshola, or perhaps I have matured to the point where this kinda thing is like water off a ducks back.
I'm leanin' towards the major pain in the asshola.

I found myself smiling. A genuine smile. Hmm.

"Hasta la Vista you pice of s**t! And good riddance," I muttered, calmly.
So what now? I wondered.

"We can probably afford another one in February", Patti said.

"Not before we get your toothache taken care of. Luxury takes a back seat to your teeth," I replied.

I was serious. I mean, sure a new 'puter (IF it works better than Vista) would be nice, but like a cell phone it ain't a necessity.
Health is. Especially Patti's health. It's a priority! My wife comes first!

Besides...If.She.Hurts...I.Hurt. If you catch my drift. So yeah, maybe there is some self interest at work here, but I really don't like to see her in pain, even if I'm spared the, um, side effects (collateral damage) of that pain, which is most unpleasant.

"I have an idea but it might not work," Patti said. "Why not try the old Windows XP computer?"

"We still got that?" I asked.

Yeah, we do. Patti sets stuff on it, like a table for other electronic stuff.

"Yeah, we do," Patti said.

"Okay, I'll give it a whirl," I said.

"It will probably take a long time to update...if it works", Patti said, tepidly.

"Hey I'm not gettin' my hopes up. If it works, then great. If not, I'm not gonna get my panties in a bunch over it," I said. "If I had panties, that is," I quickly added.

"You're a loon," Patti replied.

A Coon loon, I would've said had I thought about it at the time.

So I hooked up the older 'puter, and replaced Patti's little "table thingy" with the Vista piece.

"Damn!" I grunted.

"What?" Patti asked.

"This XP hard drive is a lot heavier than the Vista one. Not that that's a problem. Just sayin'," I said.

Why in the hell don't they put handles on these things? I wondered. Would I get rich if I patented handles for hard drives and other stuff that don't have handles but should?
Nah! Too much paperwork, I concluded.

But this thought has caused an all out debate between my self and the rest of me.
Visions of endless rivers of grog dance through my head. That's hard to argue with. Anyone wanna help me get a patent on this idea? I'll cut you in on a piece of the action. This could be bigger than the handles on can openers idea (say, why did that take so long?)!

Where was I? Oh, right. As you can see, the XP relic actually works...so far. Don't mind me, I ain't really bein' cynical...much. Jest realistic. Main thing is it works now. I like it a helluva lot better than Vista, too.

See ya in the funny papers, my friends. :^)