Sunday, November 16, 2008


Introducing my Lady, Patti Ann. She whom completes me. She's my best friend. She has seen me at my best and at my worst, and still she loves me. She loves me when I can't or won't.
Why? Hell if I know.

There have been times I didn't want her to love me. Times I knew I didn't deserve this Lady. Times i was hedonistic and times I was...shattered. But she loved me regardless. She healed my broken heart with her broken heart. the heart I broke.
She forgave me though, and continued to love me. Trust eventually returned as well.
That's a complete love. A perfect love that only comes from Spirit and spirit.

Patti knew this one thing throughout our 27 years of marriage; throughout all the good n' bad times, mostly bad and tragic: I would die for her and our children without thinking. The duty of every husband, if it came down to that. Chivalry. Honor.

And yet I dirtied my honor and betrayed my love, our marriage, betrayed myself, and betrayed God.
And still, my love would not stop lovin' me. I didn't deserve a love like this, I thought, countless times. But thankfully, I couldn't stop it.

How perfect. It took me several years to realize, although I already knew, the perfect love of my Patti Ann.
My how we have changed, but our love has endured and continues to grow. Our love has become more pure, and Godly. We understand each other (most the time) without even talking.
Thank you, Patti Ann.

Patti is the best Mother and Wife I ever knew. So many times my eyes have watered up as I saw this Beautiful Lady love our children. And they knew they were loved by Mom. They could always trust Mom. And as teenagers they knew they couldn't fool Mom, ha ha!

Guys, there here are a few things I have learned:
There are times your girl just wants you to listen...and she doesn't want solutions.
There are times she just wants you to hold her, and protect her with your undivided attention.
There are times she won't make any sense at all. Smile and accept it.
There are tmes she wants romance. Remember to tell her she's beautiful, often.
Tell her why you love her. Show your love; do the dishes and sweep the floor without bein' asked.
Never stop bein' a man. She may be angry at times but she wants you to be a man.
A strong, honorable, chivalrous man. A man that can say no, but a man who does so outta love.
Be a man she can be proud of. A mans man. Tough n' cool, and not a wimpy fool.
Manly leadership. That's an awesome responsibility, guys. Don't let your Love down.
Don't forget to serve n' protect her. 'Cause if you can't serve you can't lead.
A human man, as God meant. Yea, a Godly man. That's what wives want.

Aye! I would die for you my Love, and I gno she would die for me. We understood that from the beginning. Now we're fillin' in the blanks, so to speak. It's a challenge to be sure, but I can't think of anyone else I would rather be with as we continue to conquer that which isn't love n' truth with Love n' Truth between each other.

How is your love perfect? Some may ask. If you don't know you ain't been listenin' to me.
Here's a hint: my love ain't perfect. Patti's love ain't perfect. But our love is perfect.

As Robin so beautifully says:

my love ain't perfect
and my love's love ain't perfect
but our love - perfect
(Thanks DoJo!)

Ho! Perfect! We have a blessed marriage, thanks be to God! It doesn't get any better than that. Truly, I'm the luckiest and most blessed man alive. :^)


USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

This pic was taken yesterday. Not sure why the time stamp is off.
Weird camera I reckon.

walt said...

Lovely to see you both together! And fine words, Ben.

So -- how did you teach Camilu to use the camera?

julie said...

Now I'm gettin' all teary-eyed. It's wonderful to see a photo of you both - the love is so visible, it makes you radiant.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Ha ha! It wasn't easy. No, actually Patti held the camera. When I tried it kept lookin' too funny. And blurry.
I don't get why it hasta look professional. No one gets my photo-art.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Julie-
Speakin' of radiant, I got the distinct impression my lovely wife was angry at me this mornin' or maybe she just didn't wanna go to her doctors appointment with a broken toe.
It's hard to tell sometimes, but I know it wasn't personal...or was it? :^)

We'll laugh about it later...maybe.

QP said...

Mid-life means that you become more reflective . You start pondering the 'big' questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice? 

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.

You two are the poster couple for wedded bliss!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hey QP-
So how much Healty Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice? :^)
Don't leave me hangin'!

Robin Starfish said...

What a luminous portrait. Both the photograph (worth a thousand words) and the prose (worth a thousand photographs).

For the young'ns - that's a perfect list to look at each morning. For the old'ns too. Better than the mirror.

And hey that nugget o'truth at the end makes a purty good haiku -

my love ain't perfect
and my love's love ain't perfect
but our love - perfect

Patti must have long arms. ;-)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Robin-
Thanks for puttin' that together! I didn't realize the haikuness of those words. They look better that way. :^)

Oh, and if any of you guys think of any good additions to the secret advive section, feel free to coontribute.

Same with you gals. I always like to get your top secret perspectives about men folk. Ha ha!

Robin Starfish said...

Rule #1: Women make all the rules.
Rule #2: See Rule #1.

I stole that from somewhere. From a woman, and that was against the rules.

mushroom said...

I have to agree with Julie: Awwwwwww!

Just beautiful.

Thank you.

Jimmy J. said...

Ben, you done broke the code. So much wisdom in those words and so much love in the picture and the words. It is the deepest of satisfaction to know there is someone there for you.......always.

Blessings to you both.

Gecko said...

Teary eyed too.
You rock my heart Ben and Patti.

Dougman said...

That was a wonderful read. Coongrats to you both!

Our marriage is coming back together too.
Their is hope in Charity ;~}

KuntryMamas Kitchen said...

the time stamp is off because I was 'off.' LOL It's good now though. Walt, Ben just kept snapping the top of my head so I had to take control of the photos. Oh, Robin! Here's another one for you: "If Momma's not happy, then nobody's happy."

Skully's Wench

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Mushroom. Thank you!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hey Jim, thanks!
I learn't more than a thing or two from you, my friend! :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Gecko. You're the best!

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Dougman, good to see ya!
I'm happy to here the good news about you and your wife!
God bless you both! :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hiya Babe!
Who am I to argue? LOL! Um, I hope you're happy...:^)

Van said...

As is often the case, Julie already said it best,


And that picture... it says way more than a thousand words, it says One word, with a strong clear ring.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Van,
Thanks, my friend! I give Patti the credit 'cause she took the pic, and she has a good eye.
Me, I'm just a point n' click guy, lol.

Bob said...

Beautiful words and photo. Congratulations and Happy Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

Just perfect, Ben!


USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Thanks Bob!
I hope your Thanksgiving was happy as well! :^)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Johan!
Thank you! :^)

maurice said...

the words you wrote left me in tears.
its really nice to come across a man, being a true man.
thank you.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Hi Maurice!
Thanks for stopping by!